Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Sex and Sexuality

This is one subject that I feel needs addressing.
First, sexuality is not the same as sex - I must point that out. While sex is a physical act, sexuality is ones orientation or form of attraction to others.


Sexuality.
It is common, especially among younger people, to shun and form of sexuality that isn't 'straight'. This is (not blaming, merely noting) due to the rise of Christianity, or so most would say. As this religion has ruled popularity for generations, it's no surprise that their belief that the only 'right' way is man-and-woman is widely believed. This consequently creates conflict and negative attitudes towards those who 'swing the other way'.
In terms of types, generally someone can be straight, bisexual, lesbian or gay - although there are others, and various terms and such, I'll be sticking to the main, common and widely known types.
As I've said, it is socially acceptable to be straight - it's the norm, and commonly viewed as the 'proper way' and a lot of people under this category (though not all) think it is wrong and disturbing to be anything else.
Then there are lesbians and gays - and I don't mean to lump the two together, but it is easier and I'm keeping this basic anyway - who are interested in the same gender / their own gender. Of course there are probably plenty of people who accept it even if they don't agree with it and people who don't care or mind either way. But you're always going to get at least a dozen who will hate and isolate someone for it, and things can get pretty nasty (or you get the sleezes who pick-and-choose who is allowed to be, such as those who find girl-on-girl hot but guy-on-guy sickening).
Lastly, there are bisexuals, who don't mind which gender comes knocking. This orientation is probably second-most common, and I know very many myself. I used to think that this would be somewhat more accepted by people, but I've actually found that there are many people who think it is worse that being gay or lesbian. I once spoke to a girl who thought that gays and lesbians were fine and acceptable but she couldn't stand bisexuals because they're indecisive - she seemed to believe that you should never date a bi because they could suddenly decide they're currently more interested in the other gender and move on. Though it's possible some people do do this, most probably don't. It's not a matter of who-you-feel-like-at-the-time, because both genders are attractive to that person - her belief is the same as a straight girl dating a guy, falling for a different guy and moving on.

Now that I've covered that, let's put sexulity in terms of religious belief. As I've said, Christian beliefs tend to stay true to the man-and-woman mind set.
Paganism, generally, is another story. Paganism is a very open and accepting, not only religion, but way of life. Pagans tend to believe "each to their own" and "live and let live", so you'll probably find that most don't care either way who likes who (though religion can't always rule every aspect of your life and it is possible to be pagan and still have a firm belief about what's right here).
Therefore, you don't need to 'fear god's wrath' or anything for likeing the same gender - it is okay, no matter who you are and which way you swing.
We are all equal.


Sex.
In Christian belief (correct me if you know I'm wrong, this is sort of out of my pool here), sex and related activities is shunned excect in marriage (therefore true love), and in reproduction.
When it comes to Paganism, it varies.
In fact, I'm pretty sure it's different in every belief (even if just slightly) and I highly recommend looking into common thoughts in relation to it within your specific religion. Here, I will cover what I know of certain beliefs, and what my personal thoughts are.

First, most of us have either been brought up to think or have heard of the opinion that sex is 'sacred' or at least special, and that is why people believe in no sex before marriage and such. This is perhaps an important belief to maintain, as it probably helps to keep the activity from becoming a dull routine with no meaning.
However, it is also important to recognize that most Pagan outlooks are more 'out there' and free than most are comfortable with - if you ignore the side of our present day life where girls are posing nude on magazines as a sex image to become a desired object.
Paganism is not slutty or skanky or promiscuous, but it is also not full of set restrictions.
'Back in the day', when people feared God more, peopele wore a lot more clothing and covered a lot more skin and were more faithful and certainly less sexual. In those times, many pagan beliefs probably would have been frowned upon and shunned (which is why it is portrayed as evil). Many Pagans perform rituals in the nude - that is not sexual at all, but as the body was 'private', it was abnormal and probably shameful to others, but it is natural to a Pagan that is so inclinced.
In todays day and age, where people are running around in scraps of material, posing nude for the camera, and just generally use their body as an object to gain desire, Pagan's are probably considered modest - depending on the sort and the beliefs of course. I suppose here you get more into morals.

General Pagan belief is that the body is a gift, and it is special, as everything is sacred, and is therefore something to be celebrated - but know where the line between celebrating and objectifying something is.
A Pagan probably believes that sex is not something to shun, but instead something to enjoy - it is a gift of pleasure from the goddess, and ment to be enjoyed. However, 'celebrating' it is supposed to be a ritual - yes, sex is a RITUAL, one of love, to show desire and want as well as love and care; it is not a simple 'act' that one does with any old person, and yet is not restricted to a single person for your entire life. It is something private to be done with someone special.
In todays world, sex is in, and everything is being sexualized - even in children (check out bratz dolls). Everything we design and do is to make ourselves more appealing to the opposite sex and is thinnly discuised as wanting someone to love you, but is actually a cry for someone to sleep with you (even if you are too young to be inclinced to want that - it is what is learnt from those older than us and therefore becomes 'the norm' at a younger age). We subject ourselves to showing as much skin as is acceptable, and perform multiple acts to fit the perfect appearance in hope that it will make someone want us, but these days if someone 'wants you' it means they want to sleep with you.


Personally, I hate what fashion has come to. Showing as much skin as possible is actually horrifyingly slutty to me and screams for guys to get in bed with them. It's alluring, even with this opinion I myself find it alluring, that is because we are taught that this is how to get a partner, this is how you get someone's attention, and this is what it takes to be (and therefore feel) beautiful and wanted. NO. It should not be this way, and therefore I refuse to conform. I show arms and lower legs, and sometimes a bit of chest, but that's it - not stomach, not thighs. That right, for me, is reserved for the eyes of a partner only because I don't want to flaunt my body like an object. This is not to say I'm either ashamed of my body or against the 'natural form' (bare skin), but I will not use it to objectify myself.
As for who you have sex with, I find it appalling that people sleep with anyone (yes, that means one night stands and even friends!), because that is not a ritual, that is a desperate attempt to make your life enjoyable, though in result it actually ends up destroying it. I think it is definately sacred, a ritual as thanks to the goddess, but not so strict as to keep to one person after marriage. I think it is wrong to get in bed with someone after a week of dating, let alone less - you do not love that person, and they do not love you.
Worse, I've heard girls defending themselves with the fact that it wasn't sex - but instead other various sexual acts. IT'S STILL THE SAME THING.

I feel like this image really embodies what it should be. Firstly, it has the Goddess and her Consort, symbolizing love and care - and both being connected to one tree could be seen as 'being one' - kindred souls sort of thing. Secondly, it is in a natural environment and they are nude, showing that it is natural, and acceptable. This is the essence of it.


I really have so much more to say, but I don't know how to organise it and I know this has already been a very long post, so I'll leave it there and perhaps touch up on it in other posts.

Really I suppose it is simply about finding balance and deciding personally which things you personally think are acceptable or right. Also, I'd like to say that although most religions have certain beliefs, you can't force yourself to believe something and it is okay to deviate from that.

Opinions? Thoughts? Your beliefs?
Blessed be.

2 comments:

  1. I enjoyed this post and agree with many of your main points.
    Good job Girly :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well done c: Your post was really great and it was not only funny but very interessting to geet informed about the "pagan view" about sex.

    ReplyDelete

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Each to their own - Live and let to live.